


Signaling Through the Flames

by balmorhea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Ending, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Kylo Ren Redemption, Poe is a babysitter, Reylo - Freeform, Skywalker Family Drama, post-TFA, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2018-09-02 12:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8668096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balmorhea/pseuds/balmorhea
Summary: “Leave here with me. Come home.”Kylo Ren makes a different decision in the oscillator on Starkiller Base that will have repercussions far greater than he anticipated. Now he must work to rebuild shattered trust when the lure of the Dark Side is ever-present, and Snoke's influence reaches out to him across the Galaxy.





	1. Bad News

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by JJ Abram's comments regarding the bridge scene in Episode VII, wherein Kylo Ren appears to surrender his lightsaber to Han Solo. 
> 
> "Kylo Ren in this moment is actually being convinced to walk away from this. Ben knows that Supreme Leader Snoke is using him but can’t accept it."
> 
>  
> 
> 5/15/18:
> 
> In my efforts to return to writing this story, I've decided to rewrite the few chapters I had posted. The key elements of the plot remain unchanged, but I thought it was more interesting to see events through Poe's POV.

General Organa had navigated through countless battles, devastating losses, and many near-misses, but nothing in her life quite prepared her for the double punch to the chest that she received when the Resistance fighters were returning from their mission at Starkiller Base.

Han was dead.

And her son was coming home.

Leia, directing the mission from their headquarters in D’Qar, had felt Han’s death in the Force, a fathomless black hole tearing open in her chest. And even while she felt herself crumbling into it, she remained steadfast. There were four dozen fighters dispatched, and Leia would need to ensure their mission was successful before guiding them home.

Once she received the confirmation that Starkiller had been disabled, collapsing into itself in a fiery death, Leia was sure the worst of it was over. When all the fighters were given coordinates to return to base, it was her flight commander, Poe Dameron, who delivered the bizarre news.

“We’ve got a situation, General.”

“What do you mean?”

The comms crackled as Poe hesitated. “You’ll want to hear this on a private channel, ma’am.”

Leia exchanged looks with everyone else in the command center before her eyes found those of her operations controller, Kaydel Ko Connix. The younger woman took the silent orders immediately, switching the communication to a private channel and stepping out of her seat for the General of the Resistance.

“What is it, Poe? And don’t tell me it’s bad news.”

“Well… I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s bad news—“

“Damn it, Poe—“

“Er, well, ma-am, we’ve acquired an extra member to our ranks. Currently on board the Millennium Falcon.”

Leia frowned, puzzled. She didn’t dare allow herself to believe it was Ben, not until Poe spoke the words himself. “What kind of extra member?”

She could hear Poe sigh into the comm as though he didn’t believe what he was about to say. “Kylo Ren, ma’am.”

She froze, stunned into silence. It was rare that anything could bring her to such a state, and it unnerved Poe, who added hesitantly, “Ma’am?”

“As a prisoner?”

Leia felt several eyes latch onto her, but she ignored them.

“Not exactly, no—Chewie tells me he came of his own accord. I don’t know the details—but Chewie’s requesting instructions for landing. I didn’t think you’d want to bring him directly to D’Qar…”

When Leia spoke next, it was in a voice of cool detachment. She felt like she was floating outside her body, watching herself give directions to Poe via Connix’s private channel.

“No, you’re right—tell Chewie to head for our base in Onderon. I’ll send over the coordinates. And Poe, I want you to meet him there.”

Poe’s scandalized voice crackled on the other end. “General, are you sure—?”

“Until we know exactly what’s going on, I don’t want—that ship cannot land here in its current state,” Leia told him cryptically, vaguely aware of listening ears. “And I need support in Onderon.”

Poe sighed, clearly unhappy. “Understood.”

“Do you have a status update on them?” Leia asked, desperately wishing she could speak more plainly.

“Not much—Chewie is requesting a full medical team to be prepped and ready to receive them. I couldn’t catch the full message, but it sounds like Kylo Ren fled the First Order and attempted to help Finn and the others escape—they were all injured in the process.”

“Very well, Commander, I’ll make sure we send out instructions. You’re in charge in Onderon—and I want a report as soon as you’re able.”

“Yes, General.”

Leia turned off the comm, removing the headset. She let out a hollow breath, suddenly lightheaded. She had half a mind to fly to Onderon and head off Chewbacca and the others herself, but there wasn’t enough time; she was needed on D’Qar to welcome back her fighters. Even as she got to her feet to face the rest of her leadership team, she felt like her son would be standing there, waiting…

_If you see our son, bring him home…_

The words constricted in Leia’s chest. She had spent a lifetime trading lives and sending people to their deaths; young and old alike, strangers and friends… She knew better than to assume personal responsibility for their fates, but part of her couldn’t help but sink under the weight of guilt over Han… Had she simply traded one loved one for another?

And Ben…

Leia didn’t know what to expect, but Poe’s words gave her hope.

_He came of his own accord… fled the First Order…_

“Right,” Leia said, steeling herself for a long day that just became a hundred times longer. “We’ve got fighters returning with heavy damage… send word to Dr. Kalonia to prepare to receive an influx of patients. I want all eyes on our sensors and ears to the comms—if the New Republic attempts to make contact, I don’t want to miss their signal.” She turned her attention to Connix. “Have we received word from the Hosniam System?”

“None yet, ma’am.”

“Keep trying to make contact,” Leia ordered. “There might be survivors out there…” The words sounded hollow, even to her ears, but she had to try. The thought that they were now alone in the universe, a tiny army left to face the First Order single-handedly, was terrifying.

But there was still work to do, and Leia would see to it that the Resistance kept moving forward.

 

* * *

 

The tiny medical bay in the Resistance base on Onderon consisted of a single, looping hallway and half a dozen tiny private rooms. Half of them were stripped bare and functionally out of order, and so Rey sat on a gurney in the dimly lit hallway, pressing an ice pack to her temple and trying to make sense of the last several hours. There was one human doctor and a medic on duty, aided by three medical droids. Rey watched them occasionally dart from one room to the next, though a majority of their time was spent at one bed.

 _His_ bed.

There were still bloodied footprints running the length of the hallway; no one had bothered to send a service droid to clean up the mess. Each time his door slid open, Rey listened intently for any news, but the voices were muffled and they spoke in some kind of medical jargon Rey didn’t understand.

Her thoughts often drifted back to Finn, who was recovering in one of the other rooms. The medic had promised Rey he was stabilized, but refused to allow Rey near him. Rey had argued, jumping to her feet and cursing down the hallway even as the nearby droid explained that it was all protocol.

Rey told them exactly where they could stick their protocol.

Chewbacca had been torn away, engaged in some kind of meeting with a Resistance fighter outside of the medical bay. He had been absent for hours, and Rey was wondering whether anyone would try to stop her if she left her gurney to go look for him. Before she could entertain the thought for too long, a man in an orange flight suit suddenly entered, looking around. His tired eyes found Rey, and he marched directly toward her.

“You must be Rey,” he told her. He was older than she was, but handsome, with tanned skin and curly hair. He looked like he had just disembarked his X-Wing and ran straight here to deal with their mess. He held out a hand, which Rey hesitantly took. “I’m Poe—Commander Poe Dameron,” he added as an after thought. He let out a heavy breath, looking Rey up and down. “How are you feeling?”

“How’s Finn?” Rey countered, straightening up from where she sat.

“They tell me he’s fine—just needs to rest—“

“Can I see him?”

Poe shook his head once, distracted from his train of thought. “No—no one can until he’s been cleared—it’s protocol—“

“I know all about your protocol,” Rey said heatedly. “But he’s my friend—“

“We can’t have you two talking to each other until we interview you first. Separately,” he added. “But I promise, we’ll get that part out of the way as soon as possible so you can see him.”

Rey set her jaw, unhappy. She had half a mind to argue further, but she doubted making enemies would get her far.

“What about him?” Rey asked, nodding toward Kylo Ren’s room. The staff and droids had been in there for the better part of three hours.

Poe hesitated. “Not sure, yet. But if you’re feeling up to it, then we need to talk.”

“About what?” Rey asked, uneasy.

Poe fixed her with a look, his hands on his hips. “About what happened. On Starkiller.”

Rey’s heart sank.

“Look—I know you’re tired, and that a lot has happened,” Poe continued in a gentle tone. “But I need you to tell me everything that went on.”

Rey’s thoughts were a jumbled mess. How could she explain the bizarre events of the last few hours? She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn’t know where to start. Her kidnapping on Takodana? The strange interrogation where she saw inside of Kylo Ren’s mind, or perhaps the events on the bridge?

Poe nodded his head for the exit. “Come with me,” he said. When Rey hesitated, he added, “Let’s get you something to eat—you must be starving.”

Poe led the way out of the medical bay, waving a badge at a series of airlock doors. The corridors were eerily quiet and empty, and Rey found herself trying to commit the route to memory. She wasn’t a Resistance fighter, but she wasn’t an enemy either, and so she imagined she would have to be escorted everywhere she went.

They turned a corner, and then another, and Rey found herself stepping into a dimly-lit mess hall. The tables were polished and empty, and the kitchen had a single service droid behind the counters.

“There’s not much,” Poe warned her. “We don’t usually use this base except to refuel and send out communications.” He walked past the empty bar and moved directly to the kitchen window. “Hey, GG, got anything back there?”

The service droid—chrome and human-like in stature, looked up from its work. “The General has sent a shipment of supplies, but I have not yet finished inventory. If you are asking about food—“

“Food, yes,” Poe interrupted. “That’s what I’m asking about.”

GG moved behind a tower of crates and returned with a single box. The droid set it on the countertop, removing the contents. “We only have MREs at the moment, Commander—fresh food won’t be available until the General’s next shipment arrives, scheduled for tomorrow afternoon—"

"Sounds great." Poe took two MREs from the top of the box and beckoned Rey to follow him.

They took a table on the far end of the mess hall, nearest the hall and directly under one of two working lights.

“Why’s it so dark here?” Rey asked.

“Conservation of fuel,” Poe replied, opening both the MREs and pushing one across the table toward Rey. “Like I said, Operations doesn’t use this base too often. We keep a basic crew and basic supplies.”

Rey looked around. “Am I allowed to ask why we came here? Isn’t there another base that’s bigger? In the Ileenium System?”

“Orders.”

“Right.”

Rey turned to her food, investigating the strange contents. Thankfully there was no polystarch, but it was bland and unassuming.

“So,” Poe said, drawing Rey’s attention back toward him. He withdrew a sleek commlink, setting it on the table between them. “I’ve got to record everything for the record,” he explained. He glanced at her, catching her uneasy expression. “You’re not being interrogated—it’s just—“

“Protocol,” Rey finished for him.

“Exactly.”

Rey waited for him to begin, one eyebrow raised.

“I’ll start with what we already know, and then you can fill in the gaps,” Poe suggested. He leaned forward on the table, folding his hands. His food sat forgotten next to him. “Your friend Finn told us you had been taken prisoner by the First Order—that you were likely being held on Starkiller Base for questioning.”

“He knew I’d seen the map,” Rey replied.

It was clear who “he” was in reference to. An image of a dark shadow, stalking Rey through the trees, flooded her mind’s eye. She shook it off, turning back to Poe.

Something tightened in the muscles around his mouth. “What happened when you were brought to the base?”

Rey’s brain felt like mud. It took all of her effort to push aside the cloudy fatigue and sort through the bizarre events of the day. She poked around at her food. “He tried to question me about the droid—Kylo Ren did. He could get inside my head…” Her voice faltered for a moment before she continued. “And… I can’t explain it…”

“Try,” Poe encouraged, his tone more stern than he perhaps intended.

Rey launched into the jumbled story of seeing into Kylo Ren’s mind, of convincing her Stormtrooper guard to free her, of running into her rescuers in her attempt to flee.

“So you’re some kind of Jedi?”

The question hit Rey like a punch. “What? No.”

“So then the whole thing with the Force…?”

Rey sighed, resting her forehead in her palm. “I said I can’t explain it.”

"Fair enough.”

There was another silence. Poe had to ask her to continue. Rey explained the explosives and the detonator—their plan to destroy the oscillator and destabilize the core, hoping to save the Resistance even as Kylo Ren pursued them. “And Han, he—he walked out onto the bridge, called out to Kylo by a different name—“

“Ben?” Poe guessed.

Rey hesitated, surprised.

“I’ll explain later,” he said dismissively. “Please, continue.”

“They were talking—Han asked him to come home. And that Snoke was using Kylo Ren for his power… Convinced him to give it all up…” Rey’s voice faltered as the memories trickled back into the forefront of her mind, her wounds opening anew. A vice had formed around her throat, making it difficult to continue speaking. “We had already set all the explosives… I don’t remember what happened first, but the First Order was firing on us, and the detonator went off… It was chaos everywhere… huge clouds of fire… The exits were blocked off from the collapsing structure… Kylo Ren tried to show us the way out—“

“He helped you escape?” Poe interrupted, his dark brows knitting together in surprise.

Rey nodded. “We nearly made it out of the oscillator, but it was so heavily damaged…” Rey could feel a pressure behind her eyes as the vice around her windpipe tightened. She took a steadying breath, willing herself to hold her composure.”Han, he—he didn’t…” She cleared her throat loudly. “Kylo tried to save him,” she said instead, unable to find the words to explain what had happened.

Poe reached across the table and took Rey’s hand, squeezing her fingers. “I know it’s hard,” he told her softly. “But I need to know what went on down there.”

Rey sniffed in an attempt to suck back the tears that threatened to fall. “He took us into a fire escape,” Rey recalled, trying to keep her voice even. Her eyes left Poe’s face and instead focused on the wall behind him. “And Han fell behind…. Kylo went back for him...”

Images of blaster fire ricocheting off the walls filled Rey’s mind.

 _Go!_ Kylo had shouted at them.

Rey and the others hesitated even as the walls groaned and split all around them. The earth began to tremble.

“Then the whole thing collapsed, right on top of us… Chewie and I weren’t hurt… and we pulled Finn out of the wreckage… But Han and Kylo were in the back, and they—they got hit the worst…” Her voice trailed off and she clapped a hand over her mouth, looking away. Tears trailed over her fingers, dripping down her wrist. Rey wiped them away hastily and sucked in a steadying breath. “He told us to go, to make a run for the _Falcon—_ Kylo did—but Chewie wouldn’t leave him… He was pinned, and Han, he—he was gone…”

Poe allowed Rey to talk herself into silence, mulling over her words.

When Rey spoke again, her voice was robotic. “So we took Kylo with us—and Chewie brought us here.”

Another long silence stretched between them.

“You’ll stay here for now,” Poe finally said. He reached for his commlink, turning off the recording before pocketing the device. “I’ll find you some clothes, and get a bunk ready—we’ve only got barracks here, no private rooms, but no one will bother you. And there’s a refresher around, if you want to clean up…”

Rey nodded. She didn't know how else to respond.

“You’ll basically have free roam of the base, but don’t get too curious,” Poe warned. “There’s sensors all around it that’ll go off. If you need fresh air let me know—I’ll show you where to go… And obviously this is the mess hall. It’s open from sunup to sundown, but I can’t promise what we’ll have… I do ask that you follow three rules while you’re here. Three easy rules, and they’re all basically ‘Don’t be stupid.’”

Rey’s eyes found his. She raised an eyebrow. “Stupid?” She repeated.

“First, don’t leave the base without permission. Second, don’t send out any comms without permission. And third, don’t tell anyone about Kylo Ren—you’ll see other Resistance members, but the only ones who know about him outside of leadership are the folks in medical and you guys.”

“What’s going to happen to him?” Rey asked.

A dark look passed over Poe’s face. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning. “He’s hurt pretty bad, but the doctor thinks he’ll make it.”

Rey felt conflicted by the news. Kylo Ren was certainly not her friend, but he had saved their lives, and Rey herself spent the better part of their flight to Onderon trying to keep him alive. Something like worry snuck into Rey’s chest, and she attributed it to her own grief over Han’s death. If Kylo Ren died, then Han died for nothing—the precious few minutes they had spent on the bridge could have been used in their escape from the oscillator.

“And after?”

“And after… that’s a decision for the General.”

“Will she be coming here?”

“She will,” Poe affirmed. “But I don’t know when.”

“What if he tries to run?” Rey asked, dubious. “He can use the Force.”

“We’re working on that,” Poe said. He looked like the thought pained him. “And we hope it doesn’t come to that—we’re hoping he was honest in his intention to leave the First Order.”

They finished their meal and Poe gave Rey a quick tour of the base. Most of the corridors were locked down, out of use, and so Rey’s available space was limited to the women’s barracks, the refresher, the mess hall, and the recreation center. She could do whatever she wanted, provided she followed Poe’s three rules and stayed away from Medical.

“You can see Finn after he’s given a report,” Poe promised when Rey asked again.

“And when will that be?”

“Tomorrow, I hope,” Poe replied. “The doctor wants him to rest up first. Then we’ll debrief, he might get discharged, and you can see him again.”

“What about Chewie?”

“He’s gone to help bring in supplies.”

“And the map to Luke?” Rey asked.

“BB-8 made it safely back to base, thanks to you,” Poe replied.

Rey nodded as her thoughts drifted back toward her family and Jakku. A strange weight settled on her shoulders, threatening to crush her. “When can we leave?”

“Leave? The base?” Poe shook his head. “I don’t know, that’s not my call—the General will want to speak to you directly when she gets here, but I’m sure she’ll arrange something after that. Why, are you in a hurry to go somewhere?”

Rey faltered. “No,” she finally said. She wasn’t sure if she was lying or not.

They had come full circle in the base, and were standing outside the barracks. “I’ll send someone to come bring you clean clothes,” he told Rey, eyeing her dirty and bloodstained outfit. “Just rest up, and I promise to let you know how Finn’s doing when I get an update, all right?”

Rey couldn’t bring herself to speak, so she just nodded her head.

Poe left her after that, perhaps to go attend to some important Resistance matters. Rey stared at the door leading to the barracks, but knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. She wandered over to the recreation hall, which was an entire wing of different rooms. The nearest was some kind of lounge; her eyes scanned over sofas, holovids, a Dejarik table, but nothing looked tempting. She investigated the other rooms: a gym and some kind of racquet court…

Rey returned to the main corridor, passing the occasional service droid. They regarded her curiously, but didn’t bother her. It was for the best, because Rey wasn’t in a mood to talk to anyone. Every time she shut her eyes she would see fire and ash…

Her feet carried her back toward the hangar. Rey stared at the parked ships: a dozen X-Wings in various states of distress, a light freighter, the _Falcon,_ and a single U-Wing. She felt a wild urge to run—the same urge that had overcome her in the forest in Takodana—but let it fizzle and burn out. She approached the _Falcon,_ whose hatch was open to the floor below. A few transport crates sat nearby, abandoned. Rey walked up the ramp hesitantly, acutely aware of the ghosts that now lived inside. She entered the main hold and stopped in her tracks, her eyes falling onto the scene of carnage she had forgotten about.

Pools of dried blood, marred with handprints, covered most of the floor. Footprints zig-zagged in a path to and from the cockpit, and Rey recognized the spot where she had knelt for most of their journey to Onderon, desperately trying to keep Kylo Ren alive. The air was tinged with the salty taste of rust, and the smell made the hairs on the back of Rey’s neck stand up.

“Rey?”

Rey jumped, turning around to see an unfamiliar woman approaching her.

“It is Rey, isn’t it?” The woman continued, entering the ship. She was perhaps a decade older than Rey, with olive skin and full, dark hair. Her expression matched that of Poe’s: a mix of annoyance, fatigue, fear, and curiosity…

“I think I left my blaster in here,” was all Rey managed to say, her voice sounding alien as she looked back over her shoulder.

“I know—I took everything out. I gave it all to Chewbacca,” she said, folding her arms.

Rey felt like she was going to faint. She tried not to look at the blood, but it was everywhere. She couldn’t fight the feeling that Han’s ghost was standing right behind her, scrutinizing and judging her attempts to save his son’s life. Was there something more she could have done?

“Come on,” the woman said firmly. “Let’s get you out of here—we haven’t cleaned out the interior yet.” She reached out and took a gentle hold of Rey’s arm. She led her down the ramp and onto the stone floor of the hangar, heading back toward the corridors of the base. “Maybe it’s not such a good idea to go in there, yet.”

“Yeah,” Rey agreed in a daze.

“I’m Pava,” the woman told her. Rey realized they were walking back toward the barracks. “Jessika Pava—I’m a pilot in Black Squadron under Dameron. You must have met him by now.”

Rey nodded.

Jessika laughed at Rey’s cold reaction. “He can come off like an asshole, but Dameron means well. Don’t tell him I said that—I don’t think his ego can afford to get even bigger.”

They reached the barracks, and Jessika led Rey inside. It was a long room with rows of beds on either side. Two of them had clear signs of occupants, but the others remained untouched. There was the occasional uniform hanging from the bedpost and a pilot’s jumpsuit lay strewn across the floor. “Take whatever empty bed you want,” she instructed, digging through a storage drawer under what must have been her own bunk. She withdrew a few articles of clothing and tossed them to Rey.

“They might be a bit big on you, but they’ll do for now,” she continued. She straightened up, gesturing to the airlock doors on the far side. “That there’s the women’s refresher—showers and toilets. Go clean yourself up and give me your things—I might be able to get the stains out.”

Rey removed her boots, belt, and empty holster, setting them down on the floor at the nearest bunk. She entered the ‘fresher as instructed, removing her soiled clothing and leaving them in a heap on the floor.

The ‘fresher was almost as large as the barracks, with half a dozen tiled showers and toilet stalls on either side. There was large laundry basket abandoned nearby, half-filled with old linens and uniforms. Rey searched for fresh towels and found a mismatched set: a single bath sheet that barely wrapped around her body and a well-worn washcloth. She took them to the nearest shower, jumping as the door slammed shut behind her, echoing in the silence.

The water came out of the tap in bursts, as though uncertain of itself. It was hot, though, which surprised Rey. She stood under the disjointed stream, allowing the water to run down her skin and take the blood and grime with it. She watched it swirl over the drain; red first, then pink, and finally clear. Rey didn’t know for how long she stood there, but eventually she realized there was soap and shampoo, and she worked on cleaning herself more thoroughly.

Jessika had gone by the time Rey returned to the barracks, leaving Rey to dress in private. Her old clothes had been removed—either to be laundered or burned—and Rey focused her attention on the pieces Jessika had given her: baggy grey leggings and a mismatched linen pullover, along with some socks and underthings. Rey hadn’t had something other than her desert garb to wear in years, and even though Jessika’s clothes were clearly old and careworn, they were nicer than Rey’s had been. She dressed quickly, her hair dripping onto her shoulders.

“There’s not much to do around here,” came Jessika’s voice. Rey looked up, and saw that the older woman had returned. She approached Rey with an armful of sundries, dropping them onto Rey’s bed. She reached into her pocket and withdrew an old data pad, scratched and cracked in a few places. “It’s ugly but it still works—I’ve got some books and shows on there—most of them are in Huttese, though—“

“I know Huttese,” Rey said softly. She found her manners and looked up at Jessika. “Thank you.”

“There’s more holovids in the rec center,” Jessika continued. “If you get real bored, go find GG in the canteen—that droid’ll talk your ear off. But if I were you, I’d try to get some sleep.”

Rey looked back at her bed. “Yeah.”

Jessika gave her a final once-over and a nod, turning off the lights to the barracks on her way out.

The room was dimly lit from the late afternoon light through the windows. If Rey listened carefully, she could hear the sound of soft rain and birds chirping in the distance. It reminded her of Takodana, but as Rey thought about the lush, green planet, a crackling red saber kept creeping into her mind’s eye.

Rey examined the items Jessika had brought: mixed toiletries, more socks, snacks, and a charger for the data pad. She laid them out carefully in the storage under her bed before straightening up again. Her bones were tired, exhausted in a way Rey had never known, even in Jakku. She felt like she had aged a hundred years overnight.

She lay back in the bed, pulling the covers over herself even as she realized the bed was far too soft to be comfortable. She glared at the ceiling, trying to keep the hundred or so horrible images from replaying in her brain over and over.

A dark shadow, pursuing her in the forest… the Oscillator burning, full of fire and ash… and _him,_ lying on the floor of the _Falcon_ while life slowly drained from his eyes…

Rey pulled the covers up over her head, blocking it out.

 

* * *

 

“Dameron.”

Poe’s eyes snapped open and he straightened up, returning his feet to the floor. “Yeah?” He said, voice thick with the half-sleep he had gotten.

“I’ve got General Organa on the comms for you.”

Audrey Mallix, the Operations Coordinator for the Onderon base, reached across the desk Poe had been using as a footrest and switched on the holovid. An image of General Organa flickered to life before him, and Poe sat up straighter, hastily wiping the fatigue from his eyes. The office door slid shut behind him as Mallix left.

“Did I catch you sleeping, Commander?”

“Never, ma’am,” Poe told her. “What’s the update?”

“Our forces returned to D’Qar—some losses, but not as many as there could have been, so for that I’m grateful. Our recon teams confirmed that the Starkiller has been destroyed completely, and the First Order is busy evacuating their survivors.”

“Should we go intercept them?” Poe suggested, half-serious. “Take them out while they’re vulnerable?”

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, Commander, but we’ve got other priorities to address,” Leia replied. “Chewie’s returning to you now with more supplies—food, bacta, clothing—and some things we think might help you keep Kylo Ren under control,” she added stiffly.

Poe nodded. Kylo Ren was still unconscious in the medical unit, but soon he would wake up. And when he did, they would need a cell that could contain him. Poe currently had all available hands working on retrofitting a cell in the lower levels of base; while it could certainly hold the average prisoner, a Force user was a different story.

“I’ve sent you over the girl’s report,” Poe told her. “I’m waiting for clearance from Dr. Calaway to interview Finn.”

“I’ve received it, but I haven’t had a private moment to watch it yet,” Leia said, sighing. She suddenly looked much older, more careworn than Poe was accustomed to seeing.

“She’s pretty adamant that Kylo Ren helped them escape,” Poe said, speaking the words as though they were a foreign language.

Leia sighed. “So is Chewie… but I want to take every precaution. We don’t yet know what motived Kylo Ren to defect, or whether he’ll try to return.”

“So the plan, ma’am…?” He tried carefully.

Leia sighed again. “Under the present circumstances, he’s considered our prisoner. If it turns out that he’s truly had a change of heart and wishes to leave the First Order…”

“Then…?”

“Then we’ll attempt to work out an agreement,” Leia finished. “We cannot in good conscience let him walk freely—but perhaps an understanding can be reached. His assistance in exchange for his freedom.”

Poe raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak, but the look on Leia’s face made him clamp his mouth shut.

“And if he decides not to… then we’ll continue to hold him prisoner until we think of something else. There is no longer a Senate to turn him over to… we’ll be on our own with this one, at least for the foreseeable future…”

Poe thought of his own situation, stuck playing babysitter while the rest of the Resistance prepared for their next move. If he had to act as prison guard for Kylo Ren long term, he would lose his mind.

“When do you think you’ll be coming here?” He asked, trying to keep the earnestness out of his voice.

“As soon as I can get away—the loss in Hosnian Prime has really stretched us thin.”

Poe sighed, scratching his unshaved face. “What do you want me to do if Kylo Ren wakes up before you get here?”

Leia already had an answer ready. “Keep him restrained—tell Dr. Calaway I’ve given my consent to drug him if you have to. I don’t think he’ll be very keen to stick around until my arrival.”

“Do you want me to talk to him, or just knock him out?”

“If he’s willing to talk, then by all means,” Leia said. Her fingertips were working at a headache behind her eyes. “I just don’t want to count on it.”

Poe nodded. “Understood, ma’am.”

“And Poe?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

He felt his irritation soften. There was perhaps no one in the Resistance who could convince him to leave his Squadron except for the General herself—and it wasn’t because of rank. “My pleasure.”

In spite of her dark mood, Leia smirked. “Oh, I’ll imagine there’s no pleasure at all, but I’m grateful for it none the less. Send over Finn’s report as soon as you have it, and have Audrey give Kaydel confirmation of Chewie’s arrival.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The hologram flickered away, and Poe let his head sink into his hands, his fingers digging through his hair. He straightened up after a moment, checking his watch for the time. It had been eleven hours since Kylo Ren’s arrival, and fourteen since the start of their assault on Starkiller Base… Not even a full day has passed, but Poe feels like it’s been a lifetime…

He forced himself to his feet, deciding he may as well head to the medical unit and check on his new patients.


	2. Hope

“The full scale of destruction remains undetermined, but the loss of Starkiller Base has put us at a momentary disadvantage,” General Hux reported, craning his neck to look up at the enormous hologram of the Supreme Leader.

In spite of the terrible news, Supreme Leader Snoke sat in reticent silence, his head bowed and his fist curling and uncurling with each word from Hux.

“The weapon collapsed after the stabilizers holding the planet together failed, a direct result of the attack from the rebels,” Hux continued. “Most officers were evacuated in time, but we suffered heavy casualties regardless. All divisions were rerouted to Centax-2 for debriefing. Intelligence indicates our base was infiltrated—the shields were dropped from the inside, allowing Resistance fighters to target the stabilizers. Our intelligence team determined the infiltrators escaped the destruction of the planet, disappearing in a Corellian light freighter, escorted by surviving X-Wings.”

“And what has become of Kylo Ren?” Snoke asked.

Hux bristled, the only fidgeting he would allow to break his otherwise perfect posture. “The tracker implanted in his belt continued to signal for two minutes and thirteen seconds after the total collapse of our weapon,” he said with the faintest hind of disdain. “None of our surviving ships had him on board, no surviving military members can recall seeing him prior to the rebel assault… Our evidence points to his survival, but no one can account for him.”

This news did not seem to please Snoke. “I have searched, combing through the dark recesses of the galaxy for him, but I feel… nothing.” He glared into his curled fist, full of silent disappointment. “I fear he is lost to me.”

“I’ve instructed our intelligence team to focus its attention to the Resistance, specifically for evidence of a First Order fugitive or defector. Either Ren escaped the collapse of Starkiller Base only to perish in deep space, or he is among the rebels of the Resistance—“

“That is a dangerous prisoner,” Snoke replied softly. “Or else a very lucky rescue…”

Hux hesitated. Ahead of him, Snoke had turned to look at him.

“I cannot say for certain,” Hux replied. He certainly hoped Ren perished on an exploding TIE, perhaps one that was too damaged to jump to hyperspace in the wake of Starkiller’s destruction, but he doubted the unstable apprentice could be taken out so simply. “Early reports indicate Ren reported his prisoner missing fifteen minutes before the planet blew—the rebels may have been attempting a rescue on her behalf—she knew, after all, the location of the target Luke Skywalker. Ren may have gotten—involved,” he added bitterly, entirely unsurprised by the prospect.

“If the Resistance has Kylo Ren, then they are keeping him a secret,” Snoke continued. “It has been almost two days, and no sign of my apprentice has reached me—no cry for rescue from the foolish family who would drag him back to weakness…”

Hux adjusted his weight, clasping his hands more tightly behind his back. “We can increase our efforts to track Ren, but it will be at the expense of our other missions—the sheer cost of—“

“I want you to find him,” Snoke interrupted. Though his face was distorted in the hologram, a dark shadow seemed to pass over him. “By any means necessary. Dispatch the Knights of Ren if you must… I will not lose him.”

Hux swallowed the lump in his throat. “I will see to that immediately, Supreme Leader—“

“And General…”

Hux paused, looking more sharply at Snoke’s hologram.

“My disappointment in you cannot be overstated. Despite the loss of our weapon, you still remain valuable to me. Ensure it remains that way.”

The hairs on the back of Hux’s neck stood on end. For a moment he half-expected Snoke to reach through the hologram and choke him. “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

The hologram flickered out of sight.

 

* * *

 

It was the middle of the next afternoon when Rey woke with a start, staring out from underneath her covers at her unfamiliar surroundings. It took her brain several moments to remember what had happened and where she was, and Rey let out her breath at the realization, embarrassed with herself.

The barracks were empty, as were the corridors outside. Rey pulled her boots over her feet before heading in the direction of the mess hall, vaguely remembering where it was. She glanced out of the windows she passed, watching heavy rainfall beat against the panes.

_Rey?_

Rey turned around, her eyes dropping to the floor. A spherical droid whizzed around the corner and rolled toward her, beeping excitedly.

“BB-8!” Rey exclaimed, her face breaking into the first smile she had worn since coming to Onderon. She bent down so she was level with him, straightening out his perpetually crooked antenna.

_They sent me to find you._

“For what?”

_Top secret meeting._

Rey stared at the droid, her brows knitting together. “Meeting? With who?”

But BB-8 didn’t give her a clear answer, rolling away down the opposite hallway.

“Hey—BB-8!” Rey called after him. She had no choice but to follow, jogging to catch up to him. The droid led her past the comm station and through a pair of airlock doors. Rey came to a sudden halt when she saw faces, sitting around a desk.

“You must be Rey,” said the nearest figure, an older woman who was nearly a head shorter than Rey. She got to her feet, her face soft and inviting, and held out her hand. “I’m General Leia Organa, the leader of this Resistance.”

Stunned, Rey took the other woman’s hand. She suddenly felt very underdressed to be meeting such an important figure. When their handshake was over, Rey’s fingers quickly went to her hair to smooth out the tangles.

“Have a seat,” Leia offered, gesturing to her own vacated chair. She looked at Poe, who was leaning against the far wall. “Perhaps Rey and I can speak privately, Commander. Will you check with Dr. Calaway and see if Finn is ready for discharge?”

Rey’s heart leapt at that.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Poe clapped a hand on Rey’s shoulder as he passed her, closing the door behind him. BB-8 had followed, trailing Poe’s footsteps.

It was only Rey and Leia in the office, now. It was a respectable size, but it was filled with so much clutter that Rey felt claustrophobic just looking at it all. Leia moved a pile of data files to the side and leaned against the desk, her arms folded over her chest. Rey watched her in silence, sitting stiffly on the edge of her seat while she waited.

“The map to Luke is safe,” Leia finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Her brown eyes searched Rey’s, and her expression was an unreadable mask. “We looked at it earlier—but it’s only a fragment. The greater map is missing, so we still can’t track down where Luke may have gone.”

Rey’s heart sank at that news. She wracked her brain for the right sympathetic words when something else crossed her mind.

_And we have the rest, recovered from the archives of the Empire…_

Rey stiffened, struck by the sudden thought.

“Rey?” came the General’s concerned tone.

“I know where the rest of it is,” she said, her eyes finding Leia’s. “The First Order has it… he told me…”

Something crossed Leia’s face far too quickly for Rey to read her. “Well… we’ll just have to figure something out then, won’t we? I thought you should know about the map since you worked so hard to keep it safe.”

Rey’s thoughts were still focused on Kylo Ren, on his interrogation and the things Rey had seen in his mind… anger mostly, but beneath that was fear and an unbearable loneliness… She thought of his confrontation with Han on the bridge of the oscillator, and their strange conversation. “Han is Kylo Ren’s father…” Rey said aloud. Her eyes found Leia’s, searching for confirmation.

“He is,” Leia said after a moment, her voice as stiff as her posture. She sighed, relaxing an inch as she ran a hand over her tired eyes. “And he’s my son as well…”

It took a moment for the words to process, but when they did, Rey felt like a bomb went off inside of her, shaking her brain around her skull and making it impossible to think straight. “He—what?”

“Han and I were married at one time, and we had a son named Ben,” Leia said, a faraway look on her face.

“And Ben—“

“Is Kylo Ren,” Leia finished for her. “Yes.”

It didn’t make any sense. “But… but how—?”

“That is a very long, and very complicated story,” Leia said heavily, guessing the question Rey was struggling to ask. “And I only know how it began. The important thing to know is that Ben didn’t choose his path—not exactly. He was singled out by Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order since he was very young. Snoke wanted Ben for his power, so he stole him away from us.”

Rey was struggling to keep up. “He… kidnapped him?” She guessed.

“He invaded Ben’s mind, whispering to him from the shadows,” Leia corrected. “Ben… we didn’t have the best relationship… so Ben began to trust Snoke, see him as a sort of stand-in for Han and myself…” She sighed, her shoulders slumping under an invisible weight. “In time Snoke’s influence was so great that nothing we did could change Ben’s mind. He was changing, compliant in Snoke’s hands and completely dependent on him… That’s when I lost him…”

Rey frowned, thinking about the monster that had stalked her in the woods and the young man who had saved her from the fires on Starkiller Base… it was impossible to imagine that they were the same person…

“But… how?” She asked. “How does Snoke control him?”

“Ben must have seen into your mind during your interrogation,” Leia said. Rey didn’t ask how the General knew that information. She figured Poe had already relayed their conversation to the Resistance. “A very rare ability, even among trained Force-users… Ben learned to do it because he’s had his own mind invaded and manipulated since childhood.”

A long silence followed this.

“I don’t know the details,” Leia added. “But I do know that Ben wouldn’t remain with the First Order unless he believed he had no choice.”

Something about her tone told Rey that the General chose to believe this out of hope rather than evidence.

“But he gave it all up when Han asked him to leave with us,” Rey said slowly.

Leia cleared her throat, and the unreadable mask returned to her features. She straightened up, turning her full attention back to Rey. “I think we have all the information we need from you, so you’re free to go. If you need a flight back to Jakku, Chewie would be happy to escort you. I know you were planning to return home after bringing BB-8 to us…”

“Oh,” was all Rey managed to say. That had been her plan, but now that the moment had arrived, Rey felt herself hesitating.

“It is Jakku, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Rey replied quickly.

“You don’t have to go now,” the General continued kindly. “If you want another day or two to see how Finn is getting on—“

“I guess I just—“ Rey stopped herself mid-sentence, unsure of what she was trying to say. She allowed her head to sink into her hand and she stared at the floor.

“We can take you elsewhere,” Leia added, confused by Rey’s hesitation. “If you’d rather go to the Inner Rim—“

“It’s not that,” Rey interrupted. “It’s…” She struggled to find the words to explain the sudden change inside of herself… the Force pulsed inside of her like a growing heartbeat, gentle but strong…

“You can always stay, but you’ll have to work for it,” Leia told her. Rey found her eyes. “We could certainly use all the help we can get. The choice is yours.”

_You’re offering me a job._

_I’m thinking about it._

Rey bit the inside of her lip, hesitating. She had already been gone from Jakku for too long, and yet…

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Leia said in response to Rey’s long silence. “What is on Jakku? If it’s a job, I’d be happy to provide you one here—“

“No, it’s not that,” Rey said quietly. “I’ve been… waiting. For my family.”

The General raised an eyebrow. “Are they meeting you there?”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Rey allowed. She felt herself shrink into the chair. “I’ve been waiting for them since I was very little… for them to come back for me…” Even as she spoke, she realized how ridiculous it sounded.

The heavy look of sympathy from Leia—especially in the wake of Han’s death—was almost too much for Rey to bear. She tore her gaze away, staring determinedly at a pile of old data files on top of a filing cabinet in the corner. No one should be feeling pity toward her, especially not the General of the Resistance.

“You can think about it,” came Leia’s kind voice a moment later. “And stay here meanwhile, though I’m afraid I’ll put you to work. When you’re ready to leave, we’ll say our goodbyes.”

Rey didn’t turn to look at her. The crushing reality of her insignificant place in the universe was suffocating her. The knowledge that no one was coming back for her, coupled with her grief over Han’s death, was too much. Rey felt entirely alone.

“My information is that you’re a pretty good pilot and mechanic,” Leia tried again. “I’m sure we could find you some work in the meantime.”

Rey sucked in a sharp breath, tapping her foot sharply against the floor in trepidation as she turned her gaze back to the General. Thinking about her situation had filled Rey with anxiety, but there were much larger problems at hand. “What’s going to happen to the Resistance?”

The older woman hesitated. “We’ll have to act quickly. The destruction of the Senate and Republic fleet has left us vulnerable—they’re open to further assault from the First Order, and the New Republic will be relying on us for assistance. While the First Order will be reeling from the unexpected loss of their super weapon, we cannot expect that to buy us a reprieve. And no doubt Snoke will be searching the galaxy desperately for Ben.”

Once again their conversation had drifted back to the strange man in a mask, the same man who had saved them from certain death just hours after he attempted to intercept the map to Skywalker. Rey wondered how dire his situation really was. If he was spared from death by the medical staff, would he go back to the First Order? Would he stay?

“I would appreciate it if you kept what I have told you a secret,” Leia said in a low voice. The serious expression on her face made Rey sink into herself. “Very, very few people in the galaxy know Kylo Ren’s true identity. Snoke himself forbade anyone in the First Order from saying his name. It would… make it easier on me while I navigate our path forward.”

Rey nodded, then asked, “Who else knows?”

Leia gave a half-shrug, one shoulder rising and falling weakly. “Snoke, of course, and perhaps some select members of their leadership. Chewie, Poe, and of course Luke… maybe half a dozen other people scattered throughout the galaxy.”

Rey was surprised by the low number. It must have showed on her face, because then the General added, “Snoke made it very clear to the First Order that Ben’s true identity never be revealed. And when Ben fell to the Dark side, everyone just assumed he’d died in the destruction of Luke’s academy.”

That triggered a memory in the back of Rey’s mind. “Hand said one of Luke’s students was to blame. An apprentice had turned against him…”

Leia’s silence was answer enough.

“Let’s go,” she finally said, straightening up. She moved through the office door, stepping into the corridor outside. Rey followed. “Let’s see how your friend Finn is doing.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure it was a good idea to tell her all of that?” Poe asked half an hour later. They were standing in the medical bay, just outside of Kylo Ren’s room. “We don’t even know her—we don’t know if we can trust her—“

“She protected BB-8 and the map,” the General said as her explanation. “Besides, she helped save his life… she was there for—for Han’s death.”

Poe reached out to rest a hand on Leia’s shoulder, but she shrugged away, adopting a steely facade. “I have to return to Q’Qar tonight. Do you have enough to keep operating for the next few days?”

“I’m sure we do,” Poe answered. He glanced at Kylo’s door. “Provided he stays asleep.”

“Yes,” Leia agreed, sounding distracted.

“What news is there from Hosnian Prime?”

“Not much,” Leia said. “It appears there wasn’t enough warning for an evacuation… the only survivors of the Senate were those who were off-world… I’ve put out messages to make contact, but my impression is they’re all under orders to lay low… Everyone’s shields are up and their comms silent… I’m hoping our proof of the super weapon’s destruction will give them enough confidence to open up talks—this assault is more than a declaration of war…”

“What about Korrie?” Poe asked. “She works in the Senate—she still has ties to your old allies—“

Leia shook her head, squaring her jaw. A dark shadow seemed to pass over her face, shuttering her eyes. “She was on Hosniam Prime—I’d sent her there with new warnings about the First Order…”

Poe’s heart sank. Korr Sella had been Leia’s former staffer and dear friend, one of Leia’s few trusted allies in the New Republic. Poe wasn’t as close with her, but she had been a fun drinking companion and wasn’t half-bad in a cockpit. First her, and then Han… all in such a short time…

“What about Greer?” Poe asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“Still in Chandrilla.”

Poe breathed a sigh of relief. “If we’re to do this, then someone has to unite these leaders—convince them to join together before the First Order picks them all off. Ma’am.”

Leia sighed again, her fingertips working at a headache. Poe was sure the General hadn’t slept since before Finn arrived with news about the Starkiller super weapon—perhaps even since his mission to find Lor San Tekka in Jakku. “That has been our trouble since Mon Mothma retired,” she said.

“You were voted First Senator, once—“

“Almost,” Leia corrected, grimacing. “And that all went to hell when the Senate learned about my parentage. I can see where you’re going with this, Poe, but it’s not meant to be me.”

“But no one can say you’re a fear mongerer—not anymore—“

“The past is the past, Commander,” Leia told him firmly. “And besides… I cannot lead an alliance if I’m lying to our allies…” Her head turned toward Kylo Ren’s room. “There are plenty of idealists and leaders—young leaders—who can take that place, but mine remains where it’s always been.”

Poe clamped his jaw to keep himself from arguing with the General. He strongly disagreed—no one balanced power and humility like Leia Organa—but he knew she was tired. They were all tired.

 

* * *

 

Finn was sitting upright in bed when Rey entered, and his face split into a wide grin.

“I was wondering when you’d come visit!”

Rey sank onto the edge of his bed, and smacked his arm. “They wouldn’t let me—all this crap about protocol—”

“Tell me about it,” Finn said, rolling his eyes. “They wouldn’t tell me a single thing about you except that you were fine—and nothing about the others.” His eyes caught Rey’s expression, and his face fell slightly. “They’re okay, aren’t they?”

“The plan worked,” Rey said, swallowing the lump in her throat. It settled in her chest like a stone. “The Starkiller has been destroyed. And Chewie’s fine. He’s already back to work.”

“And Solo?”

Rey pursed her lips and shook her head.

Finn’s face fell further. “No?”

“He didn’t make it,” Rey whispered. A stinging had formed in the back of her eyes.

Finn sank back into his pillows, a faraway look on his face. “I can’t believe it…” He turned back to Rey, taking her hand and squeezing it. “But you’re all right?” He asked earnestly, even though the evidence was right in front of him. “He didn’t hurt you?”

Rey unstuck her throat. “I’m fine,” she told him. She ran her empty hand over her eyes, smoothing the hair out of her face. “You’re not going to believe what else happened.”

“But you said the plan worked—“ Finn said, frowning. “What else could there be?”

Rey hesitated. “What do you remember?”

“We found you on the Base—Han and Chewbacca had a bag full of explosives, so we were gonna take out the oscillator… and Kylo Ren followed us.” He paused before giving Rey a sharp look. “What happened to him?”

“He saved us,” Rey said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“What?”

“When the oscillator blew… he had been talking to Han…” Rey reminded him.

“Yeah…”

“And he showed us the way out.”

Finn’s face screwed up in thought. “He did?”

Rey nodded.

“So where is he now?”

Rey put a finger to her lips, then pointed straight through Finn’s door, in the direction of Kylo Ren’s room.

“Wha—?” Finn caught himself, switching to a whisper. “Are you serious? He’s _here_?”

“Well, I guess this isn’t the real base,” Rey explained. “That’s what Poe told me—“

“Yeah, me too—“

Rey opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. The memories of the journey here were all crashing in her head, and even though she felt like she had told the story a hundred times, it still didn’t make sense. “When the oscillator blew, you were knocked out… and he was hurt…”

“That’s when Solo…”

Rey nodded.

“So then…?” Finn prodded, nodding in the direction toward which Rey had pointed.

“He was dying… Chewie wouldn’t leave him… so we brought him here.”

There was a strange silence as Finn took everything in. “Is he awake?” He finally asked.

Rey shook her head.

“They can’t contain him—there’s no way—he’s too strong—“

“But Finn, he wanted to leave…”

“That doesn’t mean he’ll stay—or that he won’t fight his way out—“

Rey shrugged, unsure of what to say. “Poe says it’s all the General’s idea. And—“ she caught herself before revealing Leia’s secrets. “—And we’ll have to trust her,” she finished lamely.

Finn let out a long breath. “That’s insane.”

Rey nodded her agreement.

“So what are they gonna do? Hold him prisoner?”

“I have no idea.” She thought for a moment, staring at the place where she knew Kylo Ren’s room was, as if she could see him through the walls. “Do you think he meant it?” She asked quietly. “About leaving the First Order?”

Finn let out a long, low breath. “Maybe,” he finally allowed. “Part of me wants to say it’s impossible, but it’s also supposed to be impossible for a Stormtrooper to defect…” He shrugged. “But just because he doesn’t want to be part of the First Order doesn’t mean he’s going to help us.”

“I think that’s what they’re all hoping for,” Rey replied.

“He knows everything—I mean everything—he’s the Supreme Leader’s apprentice and had the authority to tell even the Generals what to do. I’ll bet he has access to the Supreme Leader’s plans, the workings of the First Order, and the Knights of Ren—“

“The who?”

“Knights of Ren,” Finn repeated. “They’re these mercenaries that work for Snoke. Ren’s their leader. I never met any of them, but I’ve talked to troopers who have…they’re ruthless, and they fight with the Force… We all used to call Ren ‘Jedi Killer’ behind his back. He was this… black ghost that worked directly for Snoke. And all the stories about him talked about how he could read minds and take down armies with just his lightsaber…”

Rey looked over her shoulder toward Kylo Ren’s room, wondering if General Organa had spoken to him yet. She doubted it; if Kylo Ren was alert enough to talk, he would be clawing his way out of the med bay.

“Did you hear about the map?” Rey asked, changing the subject.

Finn nodded gravely. “Yeah, Poe told me.”

“You know the Empire has the rest.”

He was surprised. “Do they?”

Rey nodded. “He told me, when he was trying to get in my head… I think they’re going to come up with a plan to steal the rest of it.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “What, with him?” He asked, pointing.

Rey shrugged.

Finn shook his head. “That’s too dangerous—we have no idea if we can trust him—“

“I think that’s what they’re trying to figure out,” Rey said. She sighed. “He did save our lives…”

“Yeah,” Finn acknowledged, a frown on his face as his thoughts drifted back toward Starkiller Base. Suddenly his face hardened. “Unless it’s a trap.”

Rey raised an eyebrow, adjusting her weight on the bed. “You think so?”

“Snoke has spies all over the place.”

“Yeah, but Kylo Ren? Isn’t he too important to be spying on the Resistance?”

“Maybe it’s to get to Skywalker—they’ll know BB-8 made it back to the Resistance, so maybe Snoke ordered him to pretend to leave the First Order so he can get the rest of the map.”

Rey’s brows knit together. She sympathized with Finn’s suspicion—she hadn’t forgotten her interrogation just yet—but the idea didn’t seem to hold weight… Kylo Ren had risked his life to save theirs, and nearly died… She thought back to the moment on the bridge when Han pleaded with Kylo to come home… His youthful face was a mess of contradictions—suspicion, relief, anger, hope… the conflict in him was too obvious for their meeting to have been a set-up.

“When are they letting you out?” Rey asked, changing the subject.

“Soon, I hope,” he said, casting a dark look around his room. “I spent all morning talking with Poe, and then Organa…”

“They said Chewie can take us wherever we need to go…”

Finn’s eyes found her, and they were suddenly imploring. “It’s not too late,” he told Rey. “We can still go to the Outer Rim, find work—“

“They offered me a job here,” Rey interrupted.

Finn considered it for a second. “Are you gonna take it?”

“I dunno… I don’t know if I’m staying, or going back…”

“Come on Rey, you know there’s no point going back to Jakku…” He stopped, demeanor softening. “I just want you to be safe…”

She raised an eyebrow. “And the Outer Rim is safe?”

“It’s far away from the First Order—we can find work, settle down—live quiet lives—“

“Until the First Order reaches the Outer Rim and takes over there, too.” Rey shook her head. “I don’t know if there’s anywhere to hide. Not forever.”

“Are you saying you wanna stay?”

Rey shrugged. She had no idea what she wanted, or where she should go. Everyone was right about Jakku… there was nothing waiting for her, there… Her thoughts drifted to Maz’s castle, to the lightsaber she had found…

_They’re never coming back… but there’s someone who still could…_

“They need the rest of the map,” Rey finally said. “To Luke. I think we should help them—finish what we started.”

“What we started was bringing BB-8 back.”

Rey gave him a long look. He didn’t look happy.

 

* * *

 

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not… Leave here with me. Come home.”

Ben hesitated on the walkway, taking an unconscious half-step back. His father was only feet from him, close enough to touch… There was no anger or fear in the other man. Instead, Han Solo stood bravely before him, offering Ben the one thing Snoke had told him was never coming: acceptance. Forgiveness. A plea to come home.

“We miss you.”

The knife that was plunged in Ben’s heart twisted sharply. His breath caught in his throat. His father’s words were suffocating, washing over him in violent waves and drowning him.

How could anyone want him back after all this time? After everything he had done? They couldn’t—the Supreme Leader was right. This was a trick, the same trap Darth Vader fell into all those years before. No one was coming back for him… Ben Solo was dead and his family abandoned him, leaving him to seek belonging in the Dark side.

_He’ll crush you._

Han’s words hung heavy in the forefront of Ben’s mind. He knew it was true. The Supreme Leader distrusted him. He encouraged the conflict inside of Ben in order to control him, fueling the pain and hate that fed Ben’s power but offering him no solution to master it. There was so much Darkness in him that Ben could never go back to his family, but there was also too much Light to ever belong to Snoke…

He was damaged, a broken thing that didn’t belong anywhere, or to anyone…

“I’m being torn apart,” be blunted out. His insides felt like they were turning to ash, crumbling against the weight of desperation and uncertainty that threatened to drown him. Deep inside, the secret holes he kept hidden even from himself snagged at his resolve, jagged and cruel. He was faltering, falling, with no safety in sight. “I want to be free of this pain… I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it…”

Across from him, Han Solo was close enough to touch.

Ben had dreamt of such a reunion for years, but it always ended the same: a resounding “no,” the cloying pain of rejection, and then violent self-destruction. Ben steeled himself for the inevitable with what fearful pride he still retained, and looked his father in the eye. Perhaps if Han turned him away, Ben could find the strength to do it. “Will you help me?”

Another step forward. His father opened his mouth to speak, but a series of explosions rocked the oscillator. The bridge swayed dangerously, threatening to dislodge them as fire engulfed the space around them—

Ben jerked awake with a gasp, expecting to be surrounded by fire and ash, but the world around him was calm. He forced his eyes open, blinking several times to clear the fog while he took in his surroundings. Blurry grey walls and dull white lights greeted him, an unfamiliar and sterile. His brain felt heavy, his thoughts trapped in muddy fatigue as they fought to reach the surface of his mind and register that he was still alive. He struggled to move his limbs to ensure that everything was still there…

Fingers caressed his forehead, pushing dark locks out of the way.

“Don’t move,” came a familiar voice. “Just rest. You’ve come a long way.”

Ben tried to speak, but his throat wouldn’t work. There was something on his face.

“Everything’s fine,” came the woman’s voice, soothing and low. Fingers swept across his forehead once more. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

Ben felt himself slip back into a dream, warm and welcoming.


End file.
